The music video you can play below is by hip hop artisit Nick Cannon. This moving piece is called "Can I Live" and is Nick's personal tribute to his own mother who chose not to abort him when she was 17: Read the lyrics to "CAN I LIVE" > > >
"Our lives begin to end the day we are silent about the things that really matter." Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
DID YOU KNOW?:Teens are 6 times more likely to attempt suicide if they have had an abortion in the last 6 months than are teens who have not had an abortion.
EVER WONDER HOW TO HELP A FRIEND THROUGH A CRISIS?
What do you say when....... -a good friend tells you she thinks she's pregnant? -a good friend says he's heard from his girlfriend that she's expecting? -a close friend tells you she's had an abortion? -a friend calls to ask you about what to say to her parents when she breaks the news that she's pregnant? -a friend tells you she had a "close call" pregnancy-wise and while she's not pregnant, she thinks she might have an STD? -a girl in your class tells you how she's being pressured into sex?
Being there for your friends is one of the great privileges of friendship.
We all need support and love and acceptance, but we need it most especially when:
·we’re in crisis mode
·we’re wondering what to do next
·we need a “safe” and confidential person to talk to
·we don’t know where else to go for help
What your friend may need: -acceptance and a sense of not being alone; -a friendly ear to listen; -a friendly shoulder to cry on; -some objective, sound input from a trustworthy, reliable helper; -someone who can help her/him find wise, safe adults to help or advise; -someone to walk with her/him through the process -someone who will still be a friend when the crisis is over.
GET ADULT HELP FOR YOUR FRIEND IF YOU SEE ANY OF THESE SIGNS:
·Bleeding of any sort other than regular menstrual bleeding
·Abdominal pain in a friend who thinks she’s pregnant – can be a bad sign
·Fever, pain or heavy blood loss following an abortion – very bad sign
·Talking about suicide, about hurting or cutting her/himself or making plans to hurt anyone else
·Out of control behavior or drug or alcohol abuse
"911" IS THERE FOR A REASON, RIGHT?
Here are some more guidelines for how to help a friend in need:
She (or he) probably doesn't need preaching to, even if you have very strong feelings or opinions about the situation. There's a time and a good way to share your feelings and thoughts, a way that won't alienate your friend and leave her/him feeling more alone, but this is probably not it, particularly if your friend is upset and emotional.
Ask yourself this question: "If I were in this situation, what's the first thing I'd like to hear my friend say or have my friend do?" Most likely this is going to involve some version of words like: "I care about you" or "I'm here or you" or "I'm going to do all I can to help." or "Keep talking. I want to know more."
Get your friend to a nice, safe, quiet, private place where you can talk - maybe a park or your home or a table at a food court in a mall. Being with a person while they talk through a situation can go a long ways to helping them move from "crisis" mode to a calmer "take-action" mode. Just make sure the place feels safe and private for the conversation.
It may be that a hug is in order. If you're on the phone when the conversation starts, you can say something like: "Wow. This is hard. I wish I were there to give you a hug right now.”
Big adult-size situations like a pregnancy crisis (or suspecting that you have an STD or choosing to become sexually active) need to involve more people than just those from your group of friends. These are health crises as well as personal ones. Some people you might suggest your friend involve as the situation progresses: -parents (or other close family members your friend trusts), -a pastor or rabbi or youth worker your friend knows, -a school counselor, -a pregnancy help center, like Life Choices Women’s Center
It can be stressful and embarrassing for your friend to think about talking to these people about a possible pregnancy (or a possible STD), so offer to go with your friend.
A few things to be aware of: if your friend is leaning toward abortion...Up to 92% of women regret their abortion. Abortion can be extremely emotionally damaging. Listen as these women tell their story. After an abortion, some women deal with the pain by avoiding everyone connected with the experience. The abortion may affect your relationship with your friend in a negative way. Abortion can cause lasting and serious physical damage too. Have your friend slow down. Help her consider all the possible consequences before making a choice that is likely to have a lifelong effect on her.
If you're in the Central Florida area, give us a call at 321-422-4168. We offer completely confidential and completely free crisis help, free pregnancy testing, free pregnancy support services, factual information about STD's with details on where to get tested, factual information on abortion procedures and post-abortion experiences. Our help is compassionate and non-judgmental. We even offer after hours appointments upon request. Feel free to call even if you're not in the Central Florida area -- we'll be glad to get you a referral to the same kind of help offered in your area.
The music video you can play below is by hip hop artisit Nick Cannon.